jokes

      
                                    

एक पर्स चोर (दूसरे से): चलती बारात में मैंने तुम्हें दूल्हे की जेब पर हाथ साफ करने को कहा था, तुमने किया क्यों नहीं? दूसरा चोर: मुझे उसकी सूरत देखकर दया आ गई। बेचारा… दो-दो मुसीबतों को एक साथ कैसे संभालता।

Police Inspector : Have you caught the thief? Sharef : No, but I found some trace of him. Police Inspector : What? Sharef : Finger prints. Police Inspector : Where? Sharef : On my cheeks.

Man (seeking to lodge a complaint at the police station): "I have lost my dog Police Inspector: "Why don't you place an advertisement in the newspaper?" Man: "Don't be silly, inspector! My dog can't read!"

Judge: Tum apni limit cross kar rahe ho. Lawyer: Kaun saala aisa kehta he? Judge: Tum ne muje sala bola? Lawyer: Nahi My Lord, maine pucha KAUN SA LAW aisa kehta he?

​जज​ :- पडोसी का कत्ल किसने किया ? ​आरोपी​ :- मैने किया । ​जज​ :- लाश कहा है ? ​आरोपी​ :- लाश मैने जला दी । ​जज​ :- वह जगह दिखाओ जहा लाश जलायी थी ? ​आरोपी​ :- मैने सारी जमीन खोद दी। ​जज​ :- खोदी हुई मिट्टी कहा है ? ​आरोपी​ :- उसकी मैने ईटे बना दी । ​जज​ :- वो ईटे कहा है ? ​आरोपी​ :- मैने उससे मकान बना लिया । ​जज​ :- वो मकान कहा है ? ​आरोपी​ :- भूकम्प से गिर गया । ​जज​ :- तो मलबा कहा है ? ​आरोपी​ :- वो मैने बेच दिया । ​जज​ :- किसको बेचा ? ​आरोपी​ :- पड़ोसी को । ​जज​ :- पड़ोसी को बुलाओ । ​आरोपी​ :- वो तो मर गया । ​जज​ :- किसने मारा ? ​आरोपी​ :- मैने मारा । ​जज​ :- तो लाश कहा है ? ​आरोपी​ :- लाश मैने जला दी । ​जज​ :- अब्बे ऊल्लु के पट्ठे, तुने मर्डर किया है या सर्जिकल स्ट्राईक कि है ।।। हत्या को कुबूल भी किये जा रहा है और कोई सबुत भी नही दे रहा ।।।।।

Ek baar 3 chor Pappu, Badde aur Chotte police se chup ke 3 boriyon me ghus gaye! Police wala aya, usne pehli bori mein laat mari! Pappu bola: BHOW-BHOW! Police waala: kutta hai Dusri bori mein laat mari! Badde bola: Meooowwww Police wala: Billi hai Teesri bori mein laat mari koi awaaz nai ayi! Fir mari, koi awaz nai! 20-25 laat maari to andar se Chotte chillaya! Abe Saale, AALU hu!

A thief, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. Have you any last requests? Asked the policeman. . Yes, replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?

Two thief’s were busy in a robbery….Suddenly police came out of building !! 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

Ek baar Adnan Sami ke ghar mein chor aaya... Adnan chor ke upar baitha aur bola Ramu police ko bula. Ramu – Sahab chappal nahi mil rahi. Chor bola – Meri pehen le par jaldi jaa...

Ek baar 3 chor Pappu, Badde aur Chotte police se chup ke 3 boriyon me ghus gaye! Police wala aya, usne pehli bori mein laat mari! Pappu bola: BHOW-BHOW! Police waala: kutta hai Dusri bori mein laat mari! Badde bola: Meooowwww Police wala: Billi hai Teesri bori mein laat mari koi awaaz nai ayi! Fir mari, koi awaz nai! 20-25 laat maari to andar se Chotte chillaya! Abe Saale, AALU hu!

Ek admi ka wallet chori ho gaya. Woh police department complaint karne gaya. Havaldar ne pucha: Kitna paisa tha usme. Admi bola paisa gaya tel lagane. Mera ek saal ka train ka pass tha usme.

Ek chor reha hone se ek din pehle dosre se! Tm reha ho kr sub se pehla kam kya karo ge Dosra chor mai ek torch kharedun ga q k pichly dafa me ne andhairai mai bijli ke bajaye radio ka button on ker deya tha…

2 thief’s were busy in a robbery….Suddenly police came out of building !! . . . 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! . . . 2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor. . . . 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

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