jokes

      
                                    

Sex Karne Ke Baad Husband Bola: Darling, BALANCE Khatam Ho Gaya..!! Itne Me Padosi Ka Baccha Apni chaddi utar Ke bola: Aunty VODAFONE ka chota recharge chalega..??

बॉयज हॉस्टल के बाथरूम में लिखा थाआपका भविष्य आपके हाथ में है. . . . . . . तो सोचो गर्ल्स हॉस्टल के बाथरूम में क्या लिखा होग..... . . . . अपने भविष्य मैं उंगली ना करे...

Bhayanak Haramipana:- Teacher:- Rakesh ABCD bol. Rakesh:- A E G H J L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Teacher- B ,F , K,I , C D Kaha hai? Rakesh - Dost k paas hai HD mein. .........................

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis" and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

Toilet song :- In case of loose motion: “ruk ruk ruk arey baba ruk” In case of Kabz :- “na tu ay gee na hee chain ay ga” In case of Gas Trouble :- “hawa hawa aae hawa khusbho luta dai” After coming out of toilet: “juda hokay bhee tu mujh may kaheen baki hai”

anju chud gai manju chud gai chud gaya parmanand bhaiya jaldi se ghar aajao bhabhi ke nikal gaya lund......

Pappu: "Mom, Aap blouse mein paise kyun rakhti ho?" Mom: "Taaki tere papa ko pata na chale" Pappu: "Mom aap bhi na, bechare papa roz kaamwali ke blouse mein dhoondte rehte hain"

बच्चा अपनी स्कूल मेम से: मेम प्लीज मेरे जूते के फीते बांध दो । मेरे हाथ मे चोट लगी है । . मेम: मै जानती हुं कि तू बहुत कमीना है । तू मेरे दूध देखना चाहता है । . बच्चा: नही मेम कसम से . . . इस बार सारी क्लास आपकी गांङ देखना चाहती है।

Pappu = Kal papa ke room se pray karney ki aawazein aa rahi thi. Jeeto = Ye to achchi baat hai. Pappu = Papa to chup the, unki secretary chilla rahi thi 'O God…O God'…

Do Ladkiyaan Aapas Mein Ek-Dusre Se Baatein Kar Rahi Thi. Pehli: Kal Mera First Time Tha. Dusri: Oh Really, Kya Hua? Pehli: Shuru Mein Dheere-Dheere Andar Liya Aur Dheere Se Bahar Nikaala. Dusri: Dheere Se Kyun? Pehli: Unhone Bataya Tha, Pehle Dheere-Dheere Karna Hai. Dusri: Theek Hai, Phir? Pahli: Pehle 10 Minute Tak Aise Hi Kiya, Badi Mushkil Hui Kaabu Karne Mein. Dusri: Uske Baad Kya Hua? Pahli: Phir Thoda Teji Se Liya, Phir Aur Tej... Phir Aur Tez. Dusri: Hmmmmmm Phir, Pihir Kya Hua? Pehli: Phir Jhatke Se Andar Leti Gayi, Aur Jhatke Se Bahar Nikaalti Gayi. Dusri: Oh My God. Pehli: Saare Room Mein Aawaaz Goonjne Lagi, Kaafi Der Tak Kiya, Teji Se Lete Aur Bahar Nikaalte Hue Dard Bhi Shuru Ho Gaya Tha. Dusri: Aage Bataaaa, Phir Kya Hua. Pehli: Bas Yaar Mere Yoga Teacher Ne Kaha Aise Hi Pranayaam Mein Apne Saans Ko Kaabu Karo, Anand Aayega.

Paneer Rs.300/-Kg. PETROL Rs.73/-Ltr Condoms Wahi, Rs.15/ Mein 3Pcs. Bhenchod Aakhir.. Sarkar Chahti kya Hai ? Ladki ko KHILAO Mat GHUMAO' Mat Bassss CHODDTE Raho.?

Teacher: explain responsibility. Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one.

Boy During Sex: Kyu na hum shadi kar lein, Phir hum roz aisa kar saken hai. Girl: Mazdur ho Mazduri karo, Factory ke Maalik banane ki koshish na karo.

Santa ki sadi hui suhag rat ke waqt wo apni biwi ko piche se karne laga Biwi-suniye ji aage se karte hai. Santa-tumhe kaise pata. Biwi-jab me colledge me thi mujhe gunde utha kar le gaye the unho ne aage se kiya tha. Santa-sale ye gunde bahut confuse karte hai jab mujhe le gaye the to piche se kiya tha...........

Doodhwala Lagataar Ek Aurat Ki Door-Bell Baja Raha Tha. Aurat Naha Rahi Thi So Onnchi Awaaj Mein Gusse Se Boli: “Bhaiya Kitna Dabaoge, Ab Bas Bhi Karo, Tumse Achchha Toh Paperwala Hai, Jo Chup-Chaap Neeche Se Daal Deta Hai"

वाइफ कंप्यूटर पर काम करते हुए अपने पति से बोली कोई अच्छा पासवर्ड बताना.? पति : “लंड”. वाइफ हंस-हंस कर कुर्सी से गिर पड़ी क्योंकि कंप्यूटर बोला “आपका पासवर्ड छोटा है....

बस में औरत: भाईसाब मेरे बच्चे को थोडा डाटियें तो बहुत मस्ती कर रहा है | कानपुरिया: गुटखा थुकते हुए..क्यो बे मादरचोद, बहुत मस्ती सूझ रही है; चुपचाप बैठ जा वरना मैया चोद देंगे तेरी…!! औरत: भाईसाब रहने दो.. करने दो मस्ती.

Advise to all the girls... Do not play with street dogs u may get rabies!! And... Do not play with smart boys u may get babies!!

A woman & her son were riding in a taxi. All the prostitutes were standing at a bus stop. Boy: Mom, what are these women doing here? Mom: They are waiting for their husband. Taxi driver: Why don't you tell himthe truth, that they are hookers & have sex with men for money. Boy: Is that true Mom? Mom: (Glaring hard at the driver) says, YES. Kid asks: Mom, what happens to the babies these women have? ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ Mom: They become taxi drivers...!!!

बिकिनी एक ऐसी पोशाक है जिसे पहनने वाली लड़की का 90% बदन नंगा रहता है, सिर्फ़ 10% बदन ढका रहता है। मगर धन्य हैं लड़के कि वो नग्नता पर ध्यान न देकर सिर्फ़ उस 10% बदन पर ध्यान देते हैं जो ढका हुआ होता है। ये है लड़को की शराफत !!!!

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

She asked me: “Main kaunsi university main admission lu?” I said: “MU main le le” (Mumbai University) She doesn’t talk to me anymore.

Husband: Why are the defective condoms lying on the sofa..?? Wife: What..??? Where..?? Wife goes to find them and comes back angrily saying: ‘I will kill you, if u dont stop calling our children – Defective Condoms’

Very HORNY Wife Husband ka penis Chum k boli Mere Laal Mera Sona mera babu mera Baccha or bada ho Ja na . . . . . . . Husband- Bhenchod isko Chut me Dalna hai ya School mein

Arz Kiya Hai: Woh Aye Apke Sapno Mein Aur Apko Swapndosh Ho Gaya; Wah Wah! Woh Aye Apke Sapno Mein Aur Apko Swapndosh Ho Gaya; Uski Bhi Ijjat Bach Gayi Aur Apko Bhi Santosh Mil Gaya!

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