Jokes

      
                                    

||RAJNIKANTH CHALLISA || || YADA YADA HI DHARMASYAGLANIR BHAVATI BOLLYWOOD/TOLLYWOOD || ||ABHYUTTHANAM ADHARMASYATADATMANAM RAJNIKANTHAM || BHAWARTH: JAB AB JAB BOLLYWOOD/TOLLYWOOD PE PAAP BAREGAJAB JAB LOG ADHARM KE RASSTE PAR CHALEGATAB TAB PARAM SHRI “RAJNIKANTH JI” WILL COME IN THE SCENE (IN SOME FORM OR OTHER.LIKE ROBOT AND SHIVAJI ) or INCARNATE HIMSELF

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office Why? . . ; Husband : Darling , When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. . . . Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? . . . Husband : Yes Darling , I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

Chintoo: "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Mother"Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." Chintoo: "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

कुछ काम था ...SBI फ़ोन किया अभी ..... अजीब सी कॉलर ट्यून लगा रखी है उन्होंने . . . किंगफिशर वाले बाबू मेरा लोन चुका दे . किंगफिशर वाले बाबू मेरा लोन चुका दे

Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo. Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.

Teacher-Tense Kitne Prakar K Hote Hai ?? . . . Pappu -3 Prakar K . . . Teacher -Very Gud, Example Batao . . . Pappu : Kal Apki Beti Ko Dekha . . . Aj Pyar Krta Hu Kal Bhaga K Le jaunga

Aao Aaj Apko Mobile Pe Whatsapp Pe Film Dikhate Hain Start The End! Yeh Thi Rajesh Khanna Ki super-hit film "KORA KAGAZ"! Thank you Mat Bolna!

भूकंप आने पर घबराएं नहीँ। बल्कि ये करें . 1. सबसे पहले FB पर Status update करे ! 2. Time मिल जाये तो घरो से बहार निकले ! 3. बहार निकल कर भीड़ के साथ एक Selfie ले और FB पर uplode करके Status लिखे "ENJOYING भूकंप "

1 Aadmi daru k nashe me taxi me betha bola chalo airport chalo. taxiwala: tum airport pe hi ho. Admi:yelo 50rs dubara intni taiz mat chalana.

Fill in the blanks 1. BOO_S 2. _ _NDOM 3. F_ _ K 4. P_ N_S 5. PU_S_ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ans 1.BOOKS 2.RANDOM 3.FORK 4.PANTS 5.PULSE Dirty Mind =P ;)

What Is The Biggest Benefit Of Having Girlfriend In The Same College Or School Where You Study??? . . . . . . . . . . . 100% Attendance

पती पत्नी के बीच लड़ाई हुई... . पत्नी बाजार जाके जहर लाई और खा लिया.... .. लेकिन वो मरी नही बिमार हो गई.. पति गुस्से से बोला... . . . . सौ बार कहा है चीजें देख कर खरीदा करो, पैसे भी गये, काम भी नही हुआ।

Sardar: Bhagwan Chandigarh nu America di capital bana de. Plz plz plz… Banta: Par kyun??? Sardar: Kyunki main paper vich ye hi likh aaya hun…..

डॉक्टर : कौन सा साबुन इस्तेमाल करते हो? संता : बजरंग का नीम वाला साबुन , डॉक्टर : कौन सा पेस्ट ? संता : बजरंग का आयुर्वेदिक पेस्ट , डॉक्टर : शैम्पू ? संता : बजरंग का हर्बल शैम्पू . डॉक्टर : हेयर आयल ? संता : बजरंग का आवला तेल ... डॉक्टर : बजरंग मल्टीनेशनल ब्रांड कंपनी है या पंजाब की मसहूर लोकल कंपनी है ? संता : नही नही , बजरंग मेरा रूम -मेट है !

Husband texts to wife on cell.. “Hi,what r u doing Darling?” Wife: I'm dying..! Husband jumps with joy but types “Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?” Wife: “U idiot! I'm dying my hair..” Husband: “Bloody English Language”

Santa: Kal mei raat ko bathroom gya to andar bhoot tha . . . Banta: To phir kia hua . . . Santa: Hona kia tha mei bhoot se bola. "Tum kar lo humari to wese hi nikal gayi hai.

Petrol ke bhav 13 rupya kam karke saal 2010 main jitne the utne ho gaye hai…. Modi desh ko ageh nahi piche le ja raha hai – RAHUL GANDHI

Wife: Suno Doctor Ne Muje 1 Mahina Aaram Ke Liye Switzerland Ya Paris Jaane Ko Kaha Hai… Hum Kaha Jayenge ? . . . . . . . . Husband: Dusre Doctor ke Pass!

The prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated loudly. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

A cute Sentence Written by a kid on his MATHS Book . . . . . . . . . . . Dear Maths, Please grow up and Solve your problems yourself..!!

एक दिन पति अपने घर की लाइट ठीक कर रहा था. तभी उसने अपनी बीवी को आवाज़ लगाईं. पति– ओ पप्पू की माँ …. सुनती हो ! बीवी – क्या है ? पति – ज़रा इधर तो आओ … बीवी – लो आ गई, अब बोलो ? पति– ये दो तार हैं, ज़रा इनमे से कोई एक हाथ में पकड़ना … बीवी – क्यों ? पति– अरे तू पकड़ तो सही एक बार … बीवी – ये लो पकड़ लिया … पति– कुछ हुआ ? बीवी - नहीं तो … . . . पति – अच्छा … इसका मतलब कर्रेंट दूसरी तार में है …. !!!

ME : Wow sirf Rs.350/- medium size pizaa ke grin emoticon . *Orders* . Pizza: Rs.350 Service Tax: 14% Road Tax: 25% Eating Tax: 32% . Sir Your Total amount is Rs.1700/- . Me : Haramkhor saale

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